The Author Wishes to Thank... Previously unpublished, probably. No novelist is ever truly alone in his genius, and I must express my heartfelt gratitude to the people who helped me bring mine to the world. First I would like to thank my editor L., for her “hands-off” approach, and my agent W. for renegotiating our agreement with a minimum of fuss. M’s handsome photographs beautifully captured, with a clarity and expressiveness rarely seen in author portraiture, both me and my motorcycle. For her faxing, fussing, phoning, hand-holding, jet-renting, damp-cloth-demanding, caterer-firing and of course great humility, thanks to my publicist R. Biographer V. takes his dictation like a man, and masseuse A. continues to go that “extra mile.” I would be nowhere without my dear T., who stood by me even through our divorce, not to mention my divorces with E. and G.; and to my children B., U. and X., wherever they may be, I extend my fondest nuggets of filial affection. Gracie mille to fellow-scribblers K. and S., Yoricks to my Hamlet. This work was made possible by grants from PEN and the NEA, security from the NRA, dividends from the NASDAQ, manna from IGA and a plump refund from the IRS. Writing this book would have caused intolerable hand pain without assistants D. and W., and literary superstardom might seem dreary and dispiriting without sycophants 1, 2, 3 and 4. C., my dresser, could be counted on to know the difference between a “blue” day and a “green,” and personal groomer N. was never far away with her chamois and spray bottle. IBM graciously provided my customized writing console, with engineers from NASA offering maintenance and lubrication gratis. Danke, wonks. I wouldn’t be anywhere without $ and of course £. This book would seem cold and heartless without the majestic orchestration of the LSO, the passionate bombast of U2, and the thrilling contests of the NBA. F. never failed to register his support, or to polish my yacht, for that matter. H. must be thanked for putting me ahead of his late mother, whose untimely death when I most needed him proved the truest test of our friendship (Congratulations, H.: you get a B+!). For telling me when enough was enough, I am grateful to .. For allowing me room to breathe, thank you, ,. For enthusiasm, encouragement, emphasis and ebullience, I thank !. And finally, to my muse, my sweet inspiration, my one and only love, thank you, thank you, ?. c1998 by J. Robert Lennon.